Apr 15, 2014

If you've been reading through my last few posts, you're probably noticing a significant pattern: whining, justifying, excuses, and not doing a damn thing to change any of it.  I'm exhausted with it myself, I don't understand how I can check my stats and see over 400 views a day.  Why, people, why?

I'm at a point that if I don't get it together NOW, I'm going to be spending my summer in cotton pants and an over sized t-shirt while hiding my body on a beach.  I don't want that. 

This isn't going to be easy this time.  One day at a time.....

Feb 20, 2014

Respect the Wagon

The worst part about letting yourself get fat and out of shape is, at the end of it all, you're fat and out of shape. 

I've very rarely been fully secured onto the fitness wagon.  I've always tended to keep myself riding on the back of it and allow myself to jump off and back on again whenever I felt like it.  Sometime in January, I jumped off, clearly got way too drunk, and forgot to jump back on again.  The wagon left.  I don't where it is, but I have a feeling it's not coming back for me. 

I have to find the wagon.  I need the wagon.

Thankfully, a super awesome friend asked me to go to the gym with her last night.  I barely had 4 hours of sleep the night before and had been dealing with a very sick little boy all day, but I went.  Many opinions, including my own, would consider it one of the crappiest work outs ever, but it was a work out.  I'm pretty sure I saw the wagon go by while I was on the stationary bike as well.

Tonight, although it was an awful run, I ran.  I didn't have a goal other than to do it.  I cramped up, my knees throbbed, it was hot, I forgot my water, every song that played sucked, but I did it.  When I got off the treadmill after a very sad amount of minutes, I noticed that the wagon had slowed down for me.  I sulked my way over with my tail between my legs and slid onto the back. 

I need to be very careful this time.  I don't think this wagon is going to be all that forgiving this time.  I best do my part so it doesn't bump me off and run me over.

I think I have runner's chill.  How is that even possible after only 17 minutes.....

Feb 19, 2014

A small moment of truth.

It's disappointing to come to the realization that no matter how hard you try to control your online social settings, it's not actually possible.  Joining Facebook, having a Twitter account, posting to Instagram...all of these things allow us to be vulnerable.  It doesn't matter who you've "unfriended", what your privacy settings are, or how many "lists" you make, there is always that one person that is taking screen shots of your posts and sharing them elsewhere.  When we choose to have an online social life, especially a blog, we choose to lose our solitude and, instead, put ourselves out there to be criticized.

Funny Friendship Ecard: With my background and genetics you guys should be happy I am half as normal as I am. 

Judge away people.

And while you're doing it, HAVE A GREAT DAY! 

Jan 13, 2014

I'm just going to whine for a while.

I told you that I wasn't going to say what my results were for the first two weeks with the trainer, so I'm not going to.  What I am going to tell you is that I was incredibly disappointed in them.  After I had sent in all my stats, I allowed myself to wallow in self pity and whine to The Capillary for the rest of the evening.  I know that it was only two weeks and that basically all of it was a learning process, so I'm trying to tell myself that the next check-in will be better.

I have this problem where after I don't get results immediately with a plan, I start to think I'm smarter than it and look for modifications.  I'm trying my hardest not to do that with this plan, but I'm struggling.  I still feel that I'm eating far too much and I want to cut my calories back by at least 100/day. I have never intentionally consumed this much food before.  That being said, I know the reason that my intake is supposed to be so high is because I'm expelling a significant amount of energy with all of these workouts.....except I don't think I am.  The workouts are quite advanced for me.  There are a few exercises that I'm not strong enough to keep proper form during, so I've been modifying on my own.  By the time I get to the end of these routines, I have nothing left in me.  I guess that's the point, but sometimes I have a full circuit left.  Then comes another struggle: if I'm paying a trainer to train me, why am I doing my own modifying?  I know I need to be more open with her and express all of this too her.....so I'm going to quit typing this and do that instead.

Ok....email has been sent.  I think I mentioned before that this was all done via email.  Having to physically go to an appointment with a trainer isn't an option for our family life, unless he/she wants to come to me at 6am in my basement.

Now I just wait for her to get back to me and hopefully give me the encourgeament and motivation that I need here.

Jan 12, 2014

It's Sunday, January 12th, meaning that today is check-in day with my trainer.  I'm not going to tell you what my results are the first two weeks; you have to wait until the first month is complete.

The past two weeks have been difficult.  I've spent hours on the computer figuring out macro-nutrients and portion sizes.  Trying to find the time to get the workouts in was tough too, but, as I've posted previously, if I get my ass out of bed in the morning, it's not that hard to do.  Just a matter of actually getting up.  I tell myself this:  

"You want to get fit, you're paying a trainer to help you do this, so get the f*** out of bed and do your part."  

Jan 8, 2014

How Eggs-actly am I supposed to eat this?!

I'm trying to find some new recipes for my morning requirement of eggs.  It's been less than two weeks on the new nutrition plan and I am SO sick of them.  I'm not an egg fan to begin with as the texture has always triggered my gag reflex.  Some days I can handle them, some days I can't handle them at all.  I'm trying to brainstorm a few ideas to try to make my morning breakfast more appealing.

What I should be eating in the mornings (according to the nutrition plan prescribed for me):

1 whole egg
1/2 c. egg whites
1 slice of Sprouted Grain Bread

Reasons I should be eating this:

Jan 7, 2014

Week 2 Day 2

Last night I completed my second "Monday" workout.  It wasn't nearly as difficult as I found it last week and I believe there are a few reasons for that:

1) I did not run 3 miles before I attempted the routine (introducing my inner over achiever)
2) I now have adequate nutrition (Dear God, let's hope as I'm eating 1600 calories a day)
3) Maybe, just maybe, I'm a little bit stronger after only one week of being back in the gym (No?  Shut up, yes I am)