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Completely not running related...

The Capillary challenged me, Terias McKlay, and Crystal Kirkham to a flash fiction challenge.  My readers don't know this yet, but I quite enjoy writing.  I have no idea if I am good at it or not, but I thought it would be fun to accept this challenge.

The challenge:

-Flash Fiction/500 words
-Must include "coffee"
-Posted by Sunday Feb 10, 2013

Loser (those that didn't post) has to send out postcards to all other participants.  (I have to admit, I kind of wanted to lose.  I like postcards!)

I don't know if I did right.  After I finished writing, I kind of thought that the story needed to be complete.  Mine leaves you hanging.  Oh well.  Here is my first ever Flash Fiction Challenge.

by Britney DeVries

“Order up”

The super cute boy that always smiled at me, but never actually spoke to me, was holding my coffee.  This was new, this was different.  Maybe he was actually going to ask me out.

“Enjoy your coffee, Becky.”  He winked at me and then walked away.  How did he know my name?

I checked the time and bolted out of the cafeteria.  I was late and my English professor was not going to be happy with me.   Thankfully, the halls were empty and I was going to be on time for once.  I stopped to enjoy my last 2 minutes before I walked through the door and into English hell.  My coffee was good.  Really good.  I had actually never tasted coffee that was this wonderful before.  Cute coffee shop boy sure knew how to make a latte. 

The bell rang and it was time.  I opened the door to the classroom and was blinded by sunlight and the sound of laughter.

“Becky, run!”  Someone was pushing me and I was running.  Where was I running?  What was going on?  What should have been my English lecture was now a busy city street and we were running beside a train.

“Stay to the left and jump onto the third car” I didn’t want to.  I didn’t want to run or jump onto a train or be in this crazy classroom anymore.  The third car came and I jumped on.  My heart was beating fast, I was out of breath, I wanted to cry and everyone was laughing.  I looked around and saw about a dozen stunningly beautiful people in the train car.  What was going on?

“I’m impressed.  Most girls would have screamed by now” I hadn’t even noticed that there was a body pressed against my back.  I turned around and looked right into the eyes of cute coffee shop boy.
I was speechless.  I tried to talk, but only this weird sound came out of my throat.  He smiled.  I blushed.   My head finally cleared and I was able to form a sentence.

“What the hell is going on?”  I meant to sound strong and intimidating.  I didn’t.  I sounded like a school girl that was crushing on a cute coffee shop boy.

“I wanted to ask you out and thought this would be a fun date” He shrugged and smiled that gorgeous smile.  His eyes were amazing.  He made me feel like I had known him my whole life when he looked at me.

“Date?  I don’t think drugging my coffee and making me jump onto a moving train is considered a date” I should be mad at him.  I should be furious and devising an escape plan.  Instead I let him wrap his arms around my waste and stare into my eyes.

“I wanted to show you my world.  Our world” The train stopped and everyone was filled with energy and excitement.  We let them all get off ahead of us.

“Ready?”  He asked .  Now I was scared.  We jumped off the train and went into what looked like an old mansion.  “After you, Enchantress” he bowed at the door for me.  I walked in confused and hesitant.

“What did you call…..” I couldn’t finish my sentence.  I was awed by what was before my eyes.  People, beautiful people, flying and levitating all around me.  The most captivating music was playing and I felt happier than I ever had. 

What the hell did he put in my coffee?  I turned around to find him and everything was gone.  I was back in the hallway and I was late, once again, for my English class.

Unsure if this is considered Flash Fiction or the beginning of a story......


  1. Whatever he put in her coffee I want! I found that thoroughly entertaining.

    1. Thank you! I appreciate your compliment :)

  2. I really enjoyed it. It was definitely creative.

  3. Thanks! Looking forward to more challenges!


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