I’m a really good drinker. Like…super good. If there were awards for good drinkers, I could win some. Sometimes I think that maybe I should be less of a really good drinker and let someone else get the good drinker awards, but then I think “mmmm….maybe not…I’m pretty good”
Things that make you a good drinker:
Doing cool shit while drunk and/or hungover
Cool shit I can do because I’m a really good drinker:
I win things all the time! If I’m doing super good at drinking and then decide to get my exercise in and go for a walk, I come back with all sorts of prizes. One time I won a light-up palm tree! I didn’t get to keep it though. Apparently, the neighbors wanted it back.
- I get medals. It’s true. I accidentally drink copious amounts of alcohol at night, wake up, run races, and then at the end they’re all “holy shit, you were SO hungover. Here’s a medal”
- I find missing people. One time Big G was missing from the party. He was in the hot tub. I found him!
What I drink:
(click for my super awesome recipe!)
Errrr.....I gotta go.